


Will always love you

by ajoomma



Category: IZONE (Band)
Genre: Chaemin, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-26 20:58:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18290120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ajoomma/pseuds/ajoomma
Summary: Minju remained an audience as she watches Chaeyeon's new story unfold and their story closes.





	Will always love you

**Author's Note:**

> I'm just new to this and English is not my first language, go easy on me folks! Thank you, hope you'll enjoy the story~

After three years, I am back home. After years of living alone and wandering around the beautiful streets of London, I am once again back at the country where I grew up. The place where I first realize that there are beautiful things that can badly hurt you.

 

Am I back for good? I'm not certain because the only reason I am back today is only work-related. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

After striving hard to find myself and what I want to do as a living, I finally landed myself at a path that I'm ready to live by for the rest of my life. I make art as a living and luckily, my works are beautiful and interesting enough to make me earn money to survive and get me into a little spotlight.

 

Now that I am capable enough to do my own art exhibit and I would want my first exhibit to be in my own country, not in the country that I fled into because I want to escape. Though London has molded me to be who I am right now, London would definitely hold a special place in my heart.

 

 **" sorry I'm late "** I apologized as I rush towards the table of the team that would help me make this exhibit possible and successful **" I woke up late, jet lag "** I explained.

 

 **"** **oh** **, it's okay! The team leader is not yet here as well which I would immediately apologize for that— by the way, I'm Kang Hyewon "** she introduced herself **" and this is Nako, Hitomi and Chaewon "** she points at the other girls one by one.

 

I nodded my head **" I thought you're the one who's going to be in charge "** I said confusedly because I'm pretty sure, she's the one who I've always been talking within the phone before I flew here **" I'm Kim Minju "** I introduced myself as well though they already know me.

 

 **"** **oh** **! No, no, no. My boss is pretty busy so I was the one who always happens to pick up your calls, but don't worry, we have cleared up all of the schedules so we can focus on this project "** I'm not worried about that, their company has a great reputation when it comes to dealing with their projects.

 

We ordered our food as we wait for the 'actual' team leader. I insisted to pay for their food and ask them to just order whatever they want to eat and shockingly, Hyewon went all in about that offer. She literally asked almost everything in the menu, not that I'm complaining but I'm just shocked about that. How can all of those foods fit in this petite girl?

 

We started to get to know each other. Hyewon and Chaewon are older than me while Nako and Hitomi are the same age as me. Coincidentally, they all graduated from the same college I went to before I flew to London.

 

 **" wow, you're in the same age as us but you're already in a different level "** Hitomi amusedly said.

 

 **" now that makes us feel bad, we're older than you but you're much successful than us "** Hyewon sighs as she vacuums all the food in front of her. I just smiled, I don't know how to react with this kind of statements, I suck at it.

 

 **" Maybe if you don't spend your time restaurant hopping, you'll be successful as** **well** **"** Chaewon said. This girl is full of sass on her body, I like it.

 

A few more minutes, a girl came rushing to our direction. She's panting so hard when she arrived, hands resting on her knees as if she just finished running on a triathlon but when I realized who she was, my system immediately stopped working. I froze at my seat as I stare at her— Lee Chaeyeon.

 

 **" sorry I'm really really** **late** **"** she said when she finally calmed down **" the traffic jam is so bad "** she added and scanned the whole table, looking at the girls and her eyes stopped to mine.

 

 **" it's okay "** I stiffly smiled at her.

 

I want to run and escape like what I've done three years ago. Out of all the people, why do I have to meet her right now? I have successfully escaped from her for the last three years but the moment I came back, she's also coming back.

 

She sat across me and ordered food. She insisted for us to continue eating and don't mind her so we did.

 

I fell silent at her presence, I can't even manage to make a proper conversation like earlier. I was stuck at the fact that she's in front of me, probably watching me. The other girls went silent as well, I hope they would continue being talkative like earlier because right now, I want to kill myself because of awkwardness.

 

I flinched when Chaeyeon suddenly reached for my sleeves, she silently folded it up for me **" it's going into your food "** she softly said with that familiar kind smile and eyes. She hasn't changed even a bit, she still looks beautiful and genuine like before.

 

This little habit of her, folding up my sleeves, is flashing back a lot of memories inside my mind. When I was still studying college here, I used to wear huge sweaters every day and every time we eat together, she would do the same thing to prevent my sweater from getting food stains.

 

 **" how have you been? I've never heard of you since you transferred away "** Chaeyeon unnie asks.

 

I heard soft gasps from other girls **" you two know each other? "** Hyewon intrigued asked.

 

We both nodded.

 

Chaeyeon unnie is a sunbae of mine, a very kind and friendly one. We go to the same club back then, art club. We got very close together that I've misunderstood everything about that closeness, I am so silly to think that we're getting somewhere over that friendship line. I feel so dumb thinking that we could possibly have something more than friendship.

 

 **" she's a good hoobae of mine though I'm pretty mad at her because she suddenly disappeared without saying anything "** she looked at me, pretending she's really mad **" but I'm happy to see you again so I'll that slide, I'm not mad anymore "**

 

She's smiling at me like nothing really happened. 

 

Well, maybe the problem is just on me. She wasn't aware of anything and I was just the only one who has to escape from her, from everything that has hurt me. It's a fucked up feeling that I am the only one having a hard time managing my own feelings while she has no idea of what's happening.

 

She broke me without her being aware of it. It sucks to be me. Now I want to tell these girls that they don't have to envy me because at least they are not experiencing what I'm feeling and what I've felt for the last years. At least they are not a sore loser like me.

 

They have started dropping out the plans for the art exhibition while I think of changing them as the people who will work with me. I know it's a jerk idea because they already have great plans about this, they have already worked hard to come up with those great ideas but my chicken ass is doubting if I can work properly with them. If I can work with Chaeyeon unnie.

 

The meeting ended and everyone left except for me and Chaeyeon unnie who remained still. She asked if we can catch up and I agreed. We both ordered hot choco.

 

 **" it's been a while. When I received this job, I thought— it's probably not you, but I accepted it anyway because maybe I'm hoping that it's really that Kim Minju that I know and because the pay is pretty good "** she chuckles.

 

 **"** **yeah** **, it's been so long "**

 

**" how are you? "**

 

**" I'm great, how about you? "**

 

**" I'm great as well "**

 

In the past, this kind of lousy conversation has never happened between us. We always come up with a very interesting conversation, no matter how random it is, we can make it a very long conversation. We don't fall into the pit of awkwardness when we were together.

 

 **" why aren't you painting anymore? "** I asked.

 

She shrugged **" I think that's just not for me "** that answer sounded so foreign to me.

 

Chaeyeon unnie always want to paint, she would do everything just to hold a paintbrush. She's far more determined to be a painter than I do, but ironically, I was the one who ended up being one.

 

 **" our friends would totally be happy to hear that you're back "** I gave her a small smile and sipped on my drink.

 

When I left, I cut everyone in my life. I didn't keep any single connection to anyone who's connected with Chaeyeon unnie. I don't want to tempt myself because I know if I have one person who can update me with what's happening with her life, I will ask and ask and I know I could never move on.

 

**" really? I think they hate me "**

 

 **" no, no "** Chaeyeon unnie shook her head **" they are probably annoyed by what you did but hate is not the right word— in fact, I know for sure that they actually miss you. Well, I miss you "** I just gave her a smile.

 

God knows how I missed Chaeyeon unnie. I might be denying it for the last three years but having her in front of me right now, all the feeling that I kept hidden inside my heart is rushing back. I kept myself away, escaped from everything but even how much I deny it, I know that Chaeyeon unnie would always have a big spot inside my heart.

 

 **" Wonyoung and Yujin have become a model, those two beagles are making a name in the entertainment industry "** she started to tell what has happened to everyone's life. I am just listening to her, maybe I'm not really focusing on her story alone but to her voice that I thought I'll never hear ever again.

 

 **" Sakura unnie went back to Japan and she's a really famous streamer now, you can actually google her and see her memes all over the internet "** I giggled. I have figured that Sakura unnie would either be a gamer or a model or an idol.

 

 **" Eunbi, Yuri and Yena are running their own dessert shop, it's doing very well and very famous among youngsters. We should visit them one of these days, probably after this project "** I nodded my head, agreeing to her.

 

 **" how about you? "** I asked.

 

She scratched her head, she does that whenever she gets embarrassed but aside from her old habit, one thing has caught my eyes. She's wearing a bracelet, the same bracelet that we bought together three years ago from when we had a summer trip along with the rest of the club members.

 

 **"** **you're** **still wearing that? "** I softly asked, pointing at her wrist.

 

She looked at her bracelet before looking at me again **" hmmm, I can't start a day without this on my wrist. It feels like something's missing if I am not wearing this "** I used to wear the same one, not until that night that shattered me into pieces.

 

 **" I think we should get going now "** I can feel a lump on my throat when the memory of that day came rushing back to me. 

 

 **"** **oh** **, right "**  she agree.

 

 

My return has become common knowledge that even the university that I attended to in the past have invited me to come over and do some inspirational speech for art major students even though I didn't really graduate there. Since I'm getting out of focus and failing to do my pieces, I agreed on doing so, maybe I can get inspiration from those kids.

 

 **" noona, do you a boyfriend right now? "** a boy asked when I finished my speech and asked them if they have anything to ask me. I was expecting an art or career-related questions but I guess my personal life is much interesting to them.

 

 **" bold of you to assume that unnie like lousy guys "** a smile cracked upon my lips when a girl said that. Girls and boys who are part of the LGBTQ community have become bolder and I guess, this thing is being more and more accepted which is good, slowly but at least it's making development.

 

 **" Actually, I don't. I'm probably not likable "** I scrunched my nose making everyone shout their disagreement. It feels good to be complemented by these kids, I feel beautiful and cool.

 

**" have you never been into a relationship? Most of your artworks can never be connected with love or relationship "**

 

True that I never really worked on a subject that can show love and relationship between two people **" I was once in love but it didn't work out, it's hard to make a piece about romantic love without an insight of a romantic relationship and I don't really want to make a dark and sad art so I don't dare touch that subject "**

 

 **" I can be your boyfriend! "** everyone laughed at that bold suggestion making me chuckled as well.

 

 **" if you buy everything on my art exhibit, I'll agree on that "** I jokily said and continued on inviting them on my upcoming art exhibit. They cheered with happiness and promised me that they would definitely come but they could never promise to buy a piece which is very understandable.

 

After taking a couple of pictures and having a fun talk with the students, the faculty invited me to eat but I asked them if I could just tour the university instead which they gladly agreed on. I rejected them to tour me around, saying that I would like to walk around alone like the good old days.

 

The place definitely changed but there are bits that remained the same. 

 

The canteen where Cheayeon unnie and I usually eat together, we go gaga over their delicious kimchi fried rice and a delicious soup of the day. I wonder if they still have the same cook they had three years ago.

 

I fell in line along the students who are shotting up smiles at me, I did the same but didn't dare to say hi to them. 

 

 **" one kimchi fried rice and** **soup** **"** I said.

 

I sat down at the empty table at the corner and began eating my meal, the taste definitely changed, too bad it changed. As I continue eating, I noticed two girls sitting not far away from me, they are laughing and telling stories to each other.

 

A smile crept on my lips, Chaeyeon unnie and I used to be like that.

 

I finished up my food and the girls remained at their seat, still talking like they are not running out of something to talk about. While they are chatting, two men are searching up for a seat and the two kindly let them share the table with them.

 

I slowly shake my head, that's how Chaeyeon unnie and my relationship went downfall. When we let other people inside our own mini bubble.

 

I left the cafeteria and started walking around once again.

 

That scenario in the cafeteria is still playing inside my head. Three years ago, there's a new guy who joined the art club, three years ago since we let him share the table with us, play video games with us and hang out with us when it used to be just Chaeyeon unnie and me.

 

I could clearly remember how he walked upon our art club with Eunbi unnie who was the club president at that time. We gave him a round of applause and Chaeyeon unnie looks very happy to see him as if she knew something would work between them. I didn't catch up with that.

 

I didn't expect that the sudden downfall of everything will be caused by that. If only I knew that it will be the reason why— I would have been selfish and not let him join our cafeteria table or our video game bonding. 

 

Our supposed to be bonding time became Chaeyeon unnie, Hyunjin and I bonding time. That bonding slowly became Chaeyeon unnie and Hyunjin time alone with their same hobby, dancing and playing basketball which I don't. I started to just become a watcher as they play around until slowly, I am being pushed out of the picture.

 

Chaeyeon unnie who always walk upon me when I paint have changed. Instead of walking to me, complimenting my work and guiding me, Chaeyeon unnie would come up to Hyunjin and do those things that she used to do to me. 

 

I remained an audience as I watch their story unfold and our story closes.

 

Hwang Hyunjin wrecked the love story that only I was aware of.

 

On my way to the art club room, I stopped my trails when I saw that the abandoned truck was still parked at the open space. It was there since forever and I am happy that it remains there though that place holds the first time my heart realized that Chaeyeon unnie and I would probably not going to happen.

 

It was three years ago, I saw Chaeyeon unnie sitting there alone, I thought about rushing to her and grab the chance to have alone time with her once again but then Hyunjin came there faster than me so I backed down and once again watched them. I chose to be their audience while my heart asks and pleads me to go there and take what I can have, but I was too afraid and down.

 

Unnie was happy, she looks happier than when she's with me so I chose to turn my back away and leave them alone.

 

I opened the door of the art club, it seems like it has been abandoned. The door creaks as I open it wide, I was welcomed with a lot of painting on every corner of the room, stools and blank canvases.

 

The wooden floor creaks as I walk inside the room **" too bad, seems like no one has kept the art club going "** I murmur as I roam my eyes around.

 

I can see familiar paintings that I'm pretty sure our batch has painted and some unfamiliar ones. I wish a new batch of students would relive the art club, I wish this club would continue living instead of being left alone. 

 

 **" having a trip down memory lane? "** I turned around and saw Chaeyeon unnie, panting and sweating like when we met each other a while ago. Why does she look so much in a rush whenever she sees me? **" I thought I will miss you, good thing I ran "** she sighs in relief.

 

 **" yeah "** I smiled at her.

 

She took a deep sigh before coming up to me. She pulled a stool and made me sit down **" you asked me why I didn't continue painting or working on my arts "** I nodded my head **" probably because I've lost my muse "** I flinched a bit when she suddenly moved my hair behind my ear. 

 

She's so close to me, I can see how her eyes would blink, how long her lashes were. My hands were trembling, I could only rub my thumb along with my other one to keep nerves calm. 

 

She's fixing my hair as she would always do in the past when she would ask me to model for her. Thinking about it now, it's true that Chaeyeon unnie rarely do anything else than painting my portrait. I rarely see her do other things.

 

There are a lot of beautiful girls in our art club yet she always chooses me to be her muse, even how badly Yena unnie convinces her to change, she would just smile and say _ **" only Minju would be my muse, I could never draw anyone aside from her "**_

 

Though I know she could draw anything she wants, anyone she wants. Chaeyeon unnie is a genius when it comes to arts, she can draw anything and make it as if you're not looking at a painting but at the actual object or person.

 

 **" I couldn't draw anyone or anything as perfect the way I draw you "** she's staring into my eyes and I let myself get drown into hers as well. Every time her eyes hits mine, I fall in love deeper and deeper.

 

She's tracing my face, nose, and my lips, her gentle and warm touches are making my knees weak.

 

 **" how are you and** **Hyunjin** **? "** I asked and she looked like she caught off guard by my question **" three years ago, I was waiting for you here because we have a plan that we'll be finishing a work, but the sun has already set, the sky has already darkened but you didn't show up and instead, you sent me a message that you cannot go because you were not feeling well "**

 

**" I was left with Hyunjin that day, he must be waiting for me to leave because all of the members of the club has already left. He must be worried that I'll go home alone since it's already night but his mind changed when he received a message right after you messaged me "**

 

**" he left "**

 

Chaeyeon unnie's eyes widened and took a couple of steps away from me **" is that why you left? I didn't... I didn't know... I wasn't really aware that you liked him... I'm sorry "** she looks so guilty about it but I just smiled. I wanted to laugh at her conclusion but I am too hurt at the same time.

 

**" I followed him and saw you two kissing and since then, it torments me whenever I see you "**

 

**" I'm so... sorry. I didn't know you liked Hyunjin, if I only knew, I would have avoided him "**

 

Chaeyeon unnie took something out from her pocket, it was the bracelet **" I saw this when we went out of the room, the same beads of the bracelet you have so I picked it up and fixed it for you but I didn't have the chance to give it back to you because you have already left. I'm really sorry "**

 

I took the bracelet and shook my head **" it wasn't your fault, I didn't tell you what I feel that time. It's my fault for not saying anything regarding what I feel. You don't have to be sorry for me "**

 

My eyes caught something on her finger **" are you getting married? "** I asked as I reach for her hand, gently running my fingertip on a beautiful ring she has on her ring finger.

 

She gently nodded her head **"** **Hyunjin** **proposed to me five months ago... I'm... I'm really sorry "** tears were building up on the corner of her eyes and I feel guilty for making her cry. The last thing I want to do is make her cry.

 

 **" it wasn't your fault because I didn't tell you what I feel about you, it was my fault for not taking the risk even you're worth taking every kind of risk "** I smiled at her and the shock and confusion on her face were evidently shown.

 

**" I've cried an ocean for you, but yet you still won't sail along with me and when I saw you two kissing, I've accepted my defeat and run away. I've escaped without telling you how much I love you and it was all my fault "**

 

I stood up, I cannot handle to see her any longer without breaking down. I don't want to cry in front of her and look pathetic, I have successfully avoided that for three whole years and I'm not busting my effort for this short moment. I want to smile at her and leave her a memory of a smiling Minju, her muse's smile.

 

**"  I was a fool for waiting for you to love me back without doing anything "**

 

**" Minju... "**

 

 **" I wish you a happy life with Hyunjin and I mean it because you deserve every great thing in the world "** I took a deep sigh and slowly reached her face to gently pull her towards me and give her a kiss on her forehead **" I would always be your muse, goodbye unnie "**

 

For the second time around, I have turned my back on her and I am definitely going to escape once again but this time, my heart feel relieved because I've finally told her what I feel. I am very late but at least I get to tell her that I loved her with all of my heart.

 

I slid the bracelet that she managed to fix for me on my wrist. I swear that I'll never destroy this or lose this again. We might have not ended together but I'll remain to treasure her always and forever.

 

I took my phone out and messaged Hyewon about the cancellation of the project and a long apology about it. I know I should be professional and stick with the plan until the end but I want to be immature at least this once. I also booked a flight back to London, I already have an answer to my question about me staying here for good— I wouldn't, I have no reason to do that. 

 

I guess I'd have to keep on running away and escaping from everything until I found my own place.

 


End file.
